Annabelle woke up feeling yucky, not because she was ill, she woke with a feeling of doom, she wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t had this feeling for a while. It didn’t come along very often at the moment but when it did it was like a dark cloud, it was a feeling of being unsure. She had felt so self assured yesterday. It was like she had these amazing highs and then the lows hit her. Out of the blue, there was nothing she could do about it. It just took over. She started to doubt herself and became almost a different person. But this couldn’t be happening to her today. It was her first day on TV and she had to finish her problem letters. She had two left before it went to print.
She looked around, she couldn’t quite believe how she had got here. Only a few months ago she was in an unhappy marriage and now all of this, it is amazing how you can make things happen, how you can make changes. Francessca was so happy as well. Freddy and Annabelle had made sure she didn’t become spoiled but just felt special. Enjoying having her daddy to herself when she could. They split up the times by weeks and weekends. It was all going too well. Annabelle knew this wouldn’t last for ever. She had to get out of this negative feeling. She was so lucky, well not through luck, she had made her own luck. But she was lucky to have these opportunities now and she didn’t want to mess them up.
She had an hour before she was collected. She had been told to wear something smart and sophisticated to give a slightly different feel to the last agony aunt. She had chosen her black posh spice style leather dress. It was the item to make her feel uber confident. She had her cup of tea and then made sure she had everything she needed. She would have hair and make-up done at the studios.
So we’re on in 5 4 3 2 her heart sank on one.
“Good morning, today we have lots of new items for you as this is our new This Morning with me Phil and my new hostess Holly” As they were being introduced Annabelle sat on the side waiting for her cue to smile. The camera guy who she had found out was called Matthew whispered to her, “Don’t worry, everyone is nervous on their first day, you’ll be fine”
Annabelle was nervous and she thought back to all the people in her life that would want her to fail. She had to prove to them she was a success, this was the most important thing she had ever done. She had made it this far, nothing was going to stop her. She had a determination in her that when it was there was stronger than anything anyone could ever imagine. It was like a drug. She knew that she was going to be a success, she had to remain positive.
“And here is Annabelle our latest recruit...” As Phil introduced her Annabelle smiled and felt a wave of relief flood over her as she knew she had achieved some of her goals now. She had also achieved them by herself, not necessarily in the order some people would want to achieve them, but that was what made her unqiue. All lifes experiences had made her the way she was, she wasn’t going to change, she couldn’t she actually liked how she was.
As the camera panned away from her she had the feeling that this was only going to be the beginning of a very exciting chapter in her life. She had to remain true to herself and try and stick to what she was good at. She knew a lot about things and could get this across eloquently to everyone who watched her or read her articles. She was a true believer in everything she did. She just needed to get everyone else on the same wave length.
As the programme came to a close Annabelle felt on top of the world, she had had three callers, all asking her about things she knew. She tried not to be too opinionated but also she wanted to still feel like she was making a difference. The ratings were very positive and everyone told her she had done brilliantly. Matthew came over and told her that they were all going for lunch if she wanted to join them. This was number five, “the ask”,; she knew it was too soon for anything to happen between them, especially as she had just found out he was going through a divorce but she thought she deserved to still, be with the team. So off she went. She had no idea that over lunch she was going to meet someone else who was equally as interesting.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
chapter five
“I love working on other peoples problems as it distracts me from my own.” No she couldn’t write that on the form, it made her sound like a nut case, a fruit case, whatever the saying was.
She was in a room with fifteen other hopefuls, some younger than her, some older. A complete mixture.
Why would you fit into our team? Because I am a party loving girl. Now she just sounded like a druggy and alcoholic. Why could she never fill in these forms properly. Now came the hard one. Her experience as a problem person, she couldn’t exactly write that she had nearly helped the producer commit suicide.
But it was too late.
“Annabelle Neam”
Oh god, the moment she had been dreading, she started to go red before she had even entered the studio, her face boiling with embarrasement, they were about to find out she was a fraud, a phoney.
“OK all we want you to do, is be yourself. Don’t worry and just relax, forget we’re even here.”
How could she forget all these strangers and cameras and lights on her. Right, I can do this, just imagine you are a presenter, act the part, you have done it your whole life, you can do it now!
And that is what she did. She became another character, almost removed from herself. She had to pretend to be offering someone some advice about their daughter, well she could do that based on her own experiences. Then had had to talk about divorce, again not an issue. Everyone seemed very impressed with her, she even surprised herself.
After she had finished her turn she was allowed a short break, she stood behind the scenes, watching everyone else. Then she spotted him, he was tallish had dark hair and wore a gorgeous blue shirt. He had blue eyes a perfect mix. He was in charge of the camera. Annabelle casually walked over to where he was working, she had an instinct as every woman did as to whether someone found you attractive:
First came “The look” –did they look at you and smile.
BINGO
Second: “The movement”- did they playfully do something in front of you, letting you know that they know that you know they are they!
BINGO
Thirdly;”The touch”- this was the harder of the three, it meant touching something they were doing i.e. camera equipment or even the side of their arm in a playful or inquisitive way.
BINGO
All three happened, he was interested. Then came the hard work background information, as she started to think up a question she got summoned over to the group of auditionees again.
Susan appeared and spoke quietly to a researcher, “We will be in contact within the day”
As Annabelle was about to leave, Susan stopped her and spoke quietly but reassuringly in her ear “Can you hold on please.”
As the others left Annabelle felt a tinge of excitement, she realised no-one else had been called back. This could be her moment, the moment when she was allowed to be opinionated, she was in her element.
“We were very impressed and would like you to start tomorrow please, you will be able to continue your writing as this gives you more power and integrity behind you. You will be needed only twice a week to start with. We have chosen you because of your honesty, don’t let me down.”
Susan left and Annabelle couldn’t contain her excitement, she let out a squeal. Could life get any better! The camera guy came over and did number four, “So we will be seeing a lot more of each other then!” The final thing the personal line, the intimacy. BINGO
She was in a room with fifteen other hopefuls, some younger than her, some older. A complete mixture.
Why would you fit into our team? Because I am a party loving girl. Now she just sounded like a druggy and alcoholic. Why could she never fill in these forms properly. Now came the hard one. Her experience as a problem person, she couldn’t exactly write that she had nearly helped the producer commit suicide.
But it was too late.
“Annabelle Neam”
Oh god, the moment she had been dreading, she started to go red before she had even entered the studio, her face boiling with embarrasement, they were about to find out she was a fraud, a phoney.
“OK all we want you to do, is be yourself. Don’t worry and just relax, forget we’re even here.”
How could she forget all these strangers and cameras and lights on her. Right, I can do this, just imagine you are a presenter, act the part, you have done it your whole life, you can do it now!
And that is what she did. She became another character, almost removed from herself. She had to pretend to be offering someone some advice about their daughter, well she could do that based on her own experiences. Then had had to talk about divorce, again not an issue. Everyone seemed very impressed with her, she even surprised herself.
After she had finished her turn she was allowed a short break, she stood behind the scenes, watching everyone else. Then she spotted him, he was tallish had dark hair and wore a gorgeous blue shirt. He had blue eyes a perfect mix. He was in charge of the camera. Annabelle casually walked over to where he was working, she had an instinct as every woman did as to whether someone found you attractive:
First came “The look” –did they look at you and smile.
BINGO
Second: “The movement”- did they playfully do something in front of you, letting you know that they know that you know they are they!
BINGO
Thirdly;”The touch”- this was the harder of the three, it meant touching something they were doing i.e. camera equipment or even the side of their arm in a playful or inquisitive way.
BINGO
All three happened, he was interested. Then came the hard work background information, as she started to think up a question she got summoned over to the group of auditionees again.
Susan appeared and spoke quietly to a researcher, “We will be in contact within the day”
As Annabelle was about to leave, Susan stopped her and spoke quietly but reassuringly in her ear “Can you hold on please.”
As the others left Annabelle felt a tinge of excitement, she realised no-one else had been called back. This could be her moment, the moment when she was allowed to be opinionated, she was in her element.
“We were very impressed and would like you to start tomorrow please, you will be able to continue your writing as this gives you more power and integrity behind you. You will be needed only twice a week to start with. We have chosen you because of your honesty, don’t let me down.”
Susan left and Annabelle couldn’t contain her excitement, she let out a squeal. Could life get any better! The camera guy came over and did number four, “So we will be seeing a lot more of each other then!” The final thing the personal line, the intimacy. BINGO
chapter four
The next morning Annabelle was woken with another headache, she really must stop this unintentional drinking. Emma had left in the early hours of the morning and she remembered trying to do some work. Never mind, she had today, she would settle down to it now. The kitchen didn’t look too bad considering the carnage they created last night. The tarot cards sat on the side still with the empty wine glasses. She turned on her netbook and prayed there were no more letters for her to respond to. She had enough to do.
As she made herself a cup of tea, she opened her inbox and there was an urgent email flashing up before her: it read:
Dear Annabelle,
I was very shocked by your curt reply to my letter, My initial reaction was to call your editor, however having slept on it, I fear you may be right so I think it is my fault and so will be saying goodbye to my sad and sorry life and doing what I should have done along time ago.
Goodbye.
Annabelle didn’t quite know what to think, what was this crazed woman talking about, what reply. She looked through her sent items and there it was. OH GOD! She can’t be held responsible for this woman killing herself. She quickly searched through the letters and found an address on email, they kept these for responses. She ran upstairs and got herself dressed as quickly as she could. This woman only lived a few miles from her in Surrey. She would be there in no time. She checked when the email had been sent. 4am this morning, oh god what if she was too late. This wasn’t meant to happen, oh god, this was the death card, this was her payback for her bad behaviour all this time.
“I’m sorry I’ll be a better person I promise, i’ll be a kinder person I promise” She started saying this to herself as she got in her car. She knew where Walton on Thames was, it wasn’t far.
“Bloody rush hour traffic, I am never going to get there.”
Two hours later and finally Annabelle reached the village, she asked an elderly couple the way and got pointed in the right direction. She was so nervous, what if she found a dead body, what if she was too late, it didn’t bare thinking about.
She ran up to the door and was about to barge it down with brute force, she hadn’t thought of knocking first, when it opened and out came a woman about 40 with a suitcase.
“I’m looking for Susan” Annabelle spoke out of breath.
“Thats me,”
“Oh thank god, thank god” she puffed as she sat on the stone step, “I thought you were a gonner”
“ Well I nearly was....I”
“Don’t do it, I didn’t mean what I said, it isn’t worth it.”
“Well I was only going to do it for a few weeks, whilst I calmed down.”
“I’m sorry, do what” Annabelle spoke in a slightly more controlled manner.
“Go away and consider my options.”
“Oh,” Annabelle started laughing, she realised she was still in her pyjama bottoms, she hadn’t brushed her hair and she must look like a mad woman.
“I’m sorry who are you” Susan spoke slowly as if Annabelle was rather slow.
“I’m Annabelle, the one who sent you the advice.”Annabelle spoke rather sheepishly.
“Oh, so why are you here at my house?”
“I thought you were going to kill yourself, from your email, I wanted to say don’t do it, and my tarot cards said you would and..”
Annabelle realised how foolish she sounded now. Now it was Susans turn to laugh.
“Actually, I thought your advice was rather apt, no-one has ever been truthful with me before, everyone is always walking on eggshells, you were the first one to stand up to me. Friends don’t feel they can and colleagues definitely don’t feel they should or I might fire them.” She spoke with a slight smile.
Annabelle suddenly became intrigued, who was this woman that could fire people if they disagreed with her.
“I’m a producer on TV. I have my own show, I am always working and don’t have much time for my family so maybe it was my fault this happened and so now i need some time out.”
“What show do you work on?”
“It’s this morning, we have been so busy recently looking for a new presenter, I have let everything else slip in my personal life.”
“I know,” Annabelle stammered “I am just about to apply for the job, Ferns job.”
“ Oh, I see, well we have actually filled it with Holly Willougby, the young pretty one, sorry.”
Oh well thought Annabelle at least that was a job off her list, no show reel needed now.
“Well I am sorry to have bothered you, I’ll let you go” Annabelle started to make her way back to the car
When Susan suddenly shouted after her.
“We are looking for a new problem lady though, maybe you could apply for that”
And that was all Annabelle needed, she took all the details and rushed home to prepare for her audition the next day.
As she made herself a cup of tea, she opened her inbox and there was an urgent email flashing up before her: it read:
Dear Annabelle,
I was very shocked by your curt reply to my letter, My initial reaction was to call your editor, however having slept on it, I fear you may be right so I think it is my fault and so will be saying goodbye to my sad and sorry life and doing what I should have done along time ago.
Goodbye.
Annabelle didn’t quite know what to think, what was this crazed woman talking about, what reply. She looked through her sent items and there it was. OH GOD! She can’t be held responsible for this woman killing herself. She quickly searched through the letters and found an address on email, they kept these for responses. She ran upstairs and got herself dressed as quickly as she could. This woman only lived a few miles from her in Surrey. She would be there in no time. She checked when the email had been sent. 4am this morning, oh god what if she was too late. This wasn’t meant to happen, oh god, this was the death card, this was her payback for her bad behaviour all this time.
“I’m sorry I’ll be a better person I promise, i’ll be a kinder person I promise” She started saying this to herself as she got in her car. She knew where Walton on Thames was, it wasn’t far.
“Bloody rush hour traffic, I am never going to get there.”
Two hours later and finally Annabelle reached the village, she asked an elderly couple the way and got pointed in the right direction. She was so nervous, what if she found a dead body, what if she was too late, it didn’t bare thinking about.
She ran up to the door and was about to barge it down with brute force, she hadn’t thought of knocking first, when it opened and out came a woman about 40 with a suitcase.
“I’m looking for Susan” Annabelle spoke out of breath.
“Thats me,”
“Oh thank god, thank god” she puffed as she sat on the stone step, “I thought you were a gonner”
“ Well I nearly was....I”
“Don’t do it, I didn’t mean what I said, it isn’t worth it.”
“Well I was only going to do it for a few weeks, whilst I calmed down.”
“I’m sorry, do what” Annabelle spoke in a slightly more controlled manner.
“Go away and consider my options.”
“Oh,” Annabelle started laughing, she realised she was still in her pyjama bottoms, she hadn’t brushed her hair and she must look like a mad woman.
“I’m sorry who are you” Susan spoke slowly as if Annabelle was rather slow.
“I’m Annabelle, the one who sent you the advice.”Annabelle spoke rather sheepishly.
“Oh, so why are you here at my house?”
“I thought you were going to kill yourself, from your email, I wanted to say don’t do it, and my tarot cards said you would and..”
Annabelle realised how foolish she sounded now. Now it was Susans turn to laugh.
“Actually, I thought your advice was rather apt, no-one has ever been truthful with me before, everyone is always walking on eggshells, you were the first one to stand up to me. Friends don’t feel they can and colleagues definitely don’t feel they should or I might fire them.” She spoke with a slight smile.
Annabelle suddenly became intrigued, who was this woman that could fire people if they disagreed with her.
“I’m a producer on TV. I have my own show, I am always working and don’t have much time for my family so maybe it was my fault this happened and so now i need some time out.”
“What show do you work on?”
“It’s this morning, we have been so busy recently looking for a new presenter, I have let everything else slip in my personal life.”
“I know,” Annabelle stammered “I am just about to apply for the job, Ferns job.”
“ Oh, I see, well we have actually filled it with Holly Willougby, the young pretty one, sorry.”
Oh well thought Annabelle at least that was a job off her list, no show reel needed now.
“Well I am sorry to have bothered you, I’ll let you go” Annabelle started to make her way back to the car
When Susan suddenly shouted after her.
“We are looking for a new problem lady though, maybe you could apply for that”
And that was all Annabelle needed, she took all the details and rushed home to prepare for her audition the next day.
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