Annabelle hadn’t expected to be singing “Defying gravity, just you and I defying gravity and you can’t pull me down” at the top of her voice that night at 12pm along the Kings road after she had been chucked out of The Crown. She had had a wonderful time, meeting everyone and telling them she was a hugely successful journalist working undercover for some high profile magazine. It was the next morning she remembered all of this information. She reached up in the bathroom cabinet looking for her alka seltzer, damn she had run out, typical, she hadn’t drunk for months so hadn’t bought any new packs but now when she needed some, it wasn’t there.
She remembered why she didn’t drink, it meant she spent the entire day wanting it to be over so she could start the next one. What a waste, she hated wasting days. One of Annabelles philosophys was enjoying life in the here and now, she wasn’t enjoying being here and now at all.
She popped the TV on and wrapped herself in her duvet. This morning was on, good old Phil and fern, they always cheered her up. Even when she had been pregnant she had watched them, so much so that when Francessca came out and was a tiny baby she would turn towards the TV whenever she heard the theme tune.
As Annabelle dozed on and off in front of the TV she sat up right when heard there was a competition to find a new presenter to replace fern. They were looking for someone friendly..tick, bubbly... tick, genuine....tick and someone that was interested in everything...tick. Please write in to......She grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down the address, she could do this with her eyes shut. This was perfect, a writer and presenter, now that sounded good.
So you had to send in a show reel, she had heard of these, they were video clips of you doing your stuff. She would get Emma her best friend over to help her. Surely it couldn’t be too hard, she was a natural.
Emma and Annabelle had such a fun afternoon, first they discussed what they had been up to. As they hadn’t seen each other for a couple of weeks. Then they discussed life in general and then in more detail, which is when Emma suggested they try the tarot cards again. Annabelle hadn’t used these for a while.
“Well I don’t know whether I should.” Said Annabelle cautiously
“Oh go on, we haven’t done them for ages, you can ask them anything.”
The cards did always make Annabelle feel good, they gave her inspiration and made her have more self belief when her cards had been read.
“Oh alright,” she said giving in. “What shall I ask them?”
“How about something to do with your job, the new one”
So Emma started to lay them out, the usual ones came up showing her money and wealth, the death one which Emma always hid, then the on showing her that she was holding too many things in one hand and then finally the one she dreaded, the one showing love. She just didn’t have the time for this. She couldn’t be bothered with another male in a chapter of her life.
“Wait” Emma said. “It doesn’t mean necessarily with a man, it doesn’t mean now, it could be a love for your job, no hold on, it is a love in your job, maybe you are going to meet someone in your new job.”
“Oh great, I haven’t even got it yet and probably won’t but you are telling me I am going to fall in love, this is not what I need.” But Annabelle always became intrigued by the cards and started imagining herself with Phil from This morning, or maybe it was another presenter, maybe she was going to have her own show. The doorbell rang in brought her back into reality. It was the postman, he had some letters from the problem page, from people that didn’t have the internet. She suddenly remembered what she was actually supposed to be doing.
“Right, showreel will have to wait I need to get on with my work.”
“How about I help you, two heads are better than one.”
So after a few bottles of wine and four hours later this is what Annabelle had achieved:
Dear Desperate Susan,
You need to work out why your husband was having an affair, was it because you are ugly, or was it because you have smelly feet, or was it because you are no longer good in bed, whatever the reason you are better off without him, you shouldn’t have got married in the first place, so I suggest you get on with your life.
Love Annabelle
P.S Harsh but true!
As Annabelle and Emma giggled uncontrollably about this response, Annabelle had no idea that she had actually hit reply. Before she had time to realise what she had done, the reply began winging it was across the internet world to the other end, the sender, namely desperate Susan.
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